- Trouble getting up in the morning? Buy Clocky! If you keep hitting the snooze button, Clocky will drop off its stand, roll around the room, find a "safe hiding place" and start beeping. Or you could just buy the generic "Flying Alarm Clock" which launches a propeller into your room and does not stop beeping until you have returned the propeller to its base.
- Ladies! Do you ever need to pee standing up? Buy a P-mate. A sample testimonial: "I am a woman that hunts/fishes and have shared my backside with TOO MANY OTHERS. Thanks for restoring my dignity in the woods."
- This website asks: "Are you tired of the 'bobbing' effect on the busy metropolitan sidewalks?" If you too want a hand's-free umbrella, buy a Numbrella!
- For $2, you can buy Holy Drinking Water. You can even get a job! Their website says they "are currently accepting applications for blessing [their] drinking water" from ordained clergy.
- You may have to wait to buy this, but there is a US patent out for a life-expectancy timepiece. A description: "A timepiece for monitoring and displaying the approximate time remaining in a user's life. . . Buttons or switches are provided to enter and change the stored data so that the approximate time remaining in the user's life can be reset by the user." As to why: "Life expectancy has been a major concern of people throughout the ages. Insurance companies routinely develop and publish actuarial tables to indicate the average lifespans of certain people in specified groups. . . It would also be advantageous to monitor the probable remaining time left in one's life on a yearly, hourly, and even seconds basis." Sign me up!
No comments:
Post a Comment