Sorry

My apologies to my readers. I have just got back from bicycling 285 miles and am leaving to bike 208 more. Or to put it another way, this will be the only post of the week. Thanks for sticking with me.

Some interesting and actual US Patents:
1.

Patent number: 6049912
Filing date: Dec 28, 1998
Issue date: Apr 18, 2000

This is a "tiara-like headband for use at parties" with phrases on thought and speech balloons.

2.

Patent number: 3552388
Filing date: Nov 7, 1968
Issue date: Jan 1971

Here is a machine that will pat "a baby to sleep by means of periodic pats upon the rump or hind part of the baby."

3.Patent number: 5823572

Filing date: Oct 8, 1996
Issue date: Oct 20, 1998

This memo pad is designed to be used as a self-defense weapon. It has "a plurality of pages. . . . a plurality of edges and an indentation in at last one of the edges adapted to accept at least part of at least one finger or the victim's hand."

4.

Patent number: 4834212
Filing date: Mar 30, 1987
Issue date: May 30, 1989

"There is a need in our complex society for a device which can be placed over the mouth and into which a person may yell or scream but which muffles the sound so others are not disturbed." It even measures the intensity of the user's sound.

5.

Patent number: 4764111
Filing date: Nov 21, 1985
Issue date: Aug 16, 1988

"In other words, in order to turn off the beeper inside his mouth, the patient must wear the headgear. The beeping sound inside the patient's mouth is intended to be sufficiently irritating and, perhaps, embarrassing, to cause the patient to prefer wearing the headgear over hearing a beeper inside his mouth."

6.

Patent number: 1466559
Filing date: Mar 29, 1921
Issue date: Aug 1923

"[B]y movements of the head, the device will receive a series of short jerks or impulses which will be transmitted to the teeth in order to produce a strain thereon, which strain serves to give the several organs of the mouth and head a proper exercise to maintain the necessary circulation therein."

7.

Patent number: 5901666
Filing date: Aug 25, 1997
Issue date: May 11, 1999

"A vest or belt is integrally formed with tubular, pet receiving passageways which extend around the wearer's body and terminate in pocket-like chambers for feeding and retrieval."

8.Patent number: 3234948

Filing date: May 12, 1964
Issue date: May 1964

This cigarette uses a cheese-filter with or without acid-washed charcoal. Preferable cheeses are Parmesan, Romano, and Swiss.

9.

Patent number: 883611
Filing date: Dec 16, 1907
Issue date: Mar 1908

When a rat is caught in this device, a collar with a bell is put on it and the rat is released. "The 'bell-rat' as it may be termed, then in seeking its burrow or colony announces his coming by the sounds emitted by the bells, thereby frightening the other rats an causing them to flee, thus practically exterminating them in a sure and economical manner. It may be added that the spring-band or collar is not liable to become accidentally lost or slip from the rat's neck because the adjacent hairs soon become interwoven with the convolutions of the spring to more firmly hold it in place"

Inspiration: Source. Source.